Command 18 : Do Unto Others | Day 122

Receive Honor by Giving Honor!

Honor is one of the greatest gifts that a father could receive from his family. Honor begins with a choice to place high value and importance on others, viewing them as priceless treasures and granting them high esteem. Honor is foundational to the success of a marriage and family.

God commands children to honor their parents (see Exodus 20:12), but many times children refuse to do so. In these cases, the father cannot demand it, but he must seek to earn respect through his own application of this command.

Fathers who want to be honored by their children must first honor their children by viewing them as priceless treasures from God.

It is easy for a father to read the Scripture, “Honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2) and expect or demand that his children obey it, but Proverbs 18:12 gives wise counsel: "Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is humility." Fathers can demonstrate humility by treating their sons and daughters with the dignity and respect that is fitting for children of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

As I have worked with families over the years, I have been amazed at the way some fathers dishonor their sons and daughters. I have listened as they have belittled and ridiculed them. I have seen how fathers have neglected their children, failed to fulfill promises, compared them unfavorably to other young people, scolded them for lack of perfection, and failed to praise them for significant achievements.

In spite of these hurtful offenses, many fathers then have asked me to convince their children to honor them. It is both possible and right for the children to do this, because giving honor to parents should be done in obedience to God and is based on their parents' position, not their performance. However, fathers must accept responsibility for their offenses and begin to lead their families by showing honor to their wives and children.

An effective way for a father to win honor from his children is for him to honor his own father and mother.

I know a president of a successful company who enjoys the deep respect of his sons and daughters. However, this relationship didn't just "happen." This man showed honor not only to his children, but also to his own father. This was especially difficult for him because he was not honored when he was a child. He grew up over a tavern, and his father was continually harsh and demanding towards him. He endured much verbal and physical abuse, but because this man turned to the Lord, he was able to forgive these offenses and follow God's ways.

One day he was standing on a ladder in the lobby of his business, hanging a large picture of his father. His father happened to stop in and gruffly said, "What are you doing?!" His son stepped down from the ladder, came over to his father and said, "Dad, I love you and I want all of my employees to honor you the way I do." Tears came to his father's eyes as he hugged his son and for the first time in his life said, "Son, I love you." Let's set the example by making sure our focus is on showing honor to others rather than demanding it for ourselves.