Daily Success
Institute in Basic Life Principles

Command 33 : Honor Marriage | Day 227

Reaffirm Your Marriage Commitment!

The two oldest sons had become bitter young men. They were bitter at their father for divorcing their mother, bitter toward their mother for the accusations that their father had made against her, and bitter toward God for allowing the divorce to happen. Their anger and bitterness were now spreading and negatively influencing their younger brothers and sisters as well.

A damaged or broken marriage is a painful ordeal for a husband and wife. Divorce does not separate a married couple; rather, it tears them apart and leaves long-lasting wounds, because in marriage they have become one flesh. As hurtful as a broken marriage will be to the couple, sometimes the deepest emotional wounds are felt by their children.

The effects of divorce on children are not often addressed in the books that justify divorce and remarriage; however, it is an important factor to God, because one of His stated purposes for marriage is to raise Godly sons and daughters. “Did not he make one? ... And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth” (Malachi 2:15).

Christ gave us a sober warning in His command to not offend little ones when He said, “It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones” (Luke 17:2).

Divorce is never a solution; it is only choosing another set of problems.

As much as divorced parents try to avoid offending and damaging their children, it is unavoidable. A child's initial perception of God is based largely on his experiences with his parents. When parents divorce, they are displaying attitudes and actions that are contrary to the nature of God. This can lead their children to have a distorted view of God, which can have serious and devastating repercussions in their lives. Many children from broken homes picture God as someone Who is distant and uninterested in their daily lives, a God Who will leave them during hard times, or as an angry, harsh God Who watches for things that He can punish.

In a divorce, children are often forced to choose sides with one parent or the other. This can be a spiritual tragedy, because children are to honor both their father and their mother so that things will go well with them. (See Deuteronomy 5:16.) Also, when children are forced to live with one parent and visit another, they are placed under dual authorities. Matthew 6:24 says, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other ... .”

The greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother.

A teenager recently told me that when he and his siblings learned about a neighbor's divorce they became fearful that their parents would also divorce. When the parents found out about this fear, they assured their children that they were both committed to their marriage and that they would never even consider a divorce. This not only relieved the children's fears but also gave them a joyful sense of security.

Today would be a good time to reaffirm your marriage commitment to your spouse. Then, assure your children of your commitment as a couple and give them the security of knowing that divorce will never be a consideration for your marriage.

“For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh ... . What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:5-6).

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Contributing writer: Bill Gothard