Command 6 : Be Reconciled | Day 37

Correct the Attitudes!

The sources of the most painful offenses are not usually actions, but attitudes. People who offend others unintentionally are judged with less severity than those who intend to hurt. Even in law, the intent behind a crime is a factor in assessing the guilt of the one who stands before the judge.

Jacob's offense toward Esau did not involve only actions; the attitudes that prompted his actions were offensive also.

What was Jacob's primary offense toward his brother Esau? Esau accused Jacob of taking his birthright and stealing his blessing. However, Esau's tears of anguish came when his father Isaac informed Esau that he was to be a servant to his brother, Jacob. Isaac said, “I have made him [Jacob] thy lord” (Genesis 27:37). For this, Esau purposed to kill Jacob.

We know that this domineering spirit was odious to Esau, because Isaac assured Esau that in the future things would change: “... It shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion, that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck” (Genesis 27:40).

The fire burned in Esau's heart for 20 years. During that time, God changed Jacob's heart from wanting to be lord over his brother, to seeing himself as Esau's servant. When Jacob prepared to seek reconciliation with his brother, he sent flocks and herds as restitution and gave his herdsmen strict instructions about what to say when Esau asked whose flocks and herds they were. The servants were to say, “They be thy servant Jacob's; it is a present sent unto my lord Esau” (Genesis 32:18).

Jacob also addressed the issue of any wrong attitudes toward Esau that were held by Jacob's family members. We know this was the case, because when Esau asked about all the people who accompanied Jacob, Jacob said, “[These are] ... the children which God hath graciously given thy servant” (Genesis 33:5). Then all of Jacob's household bowed in reverence before Esau. This act of humility was very important, because those who are closest to us often pick up our wrong attitudes toward other people.

People are hurt by our wrong actions, but they are deeply wounded by our offensive attitudes.

The problem with attitudes is that we cannot hide them. They just keep coming out. Others see them in our facial expressions, our body language, our tonal patterns, our lack of a loving smile, in the words we use, and in our failure to show respect.

If we are serious about applying this command to our lives, we need to honestly evaluate our attitudes, especially toward those whom we have offended, before we seek reconciliation with them. Get the benefit of an outside perspective by asking a close friend or family member today whether or not you demonstrate a loving attitude toward others.